Newquay is coming back to life
Posted on March 8, 2008
Filed Under - leaving the rat race | 3 Comments
Newquay is starting to wake up and come out of winter hibernation. Easter is early this year, which brings the start of the season forward. People who went away for the winter are starting to trickle back. The main pubs and bars are getting livelier. On a sunny weekend with decent surf, there are more people out in the water.
Really, summer is what it’s all about here. Obviously summer is a nice time everywhere, but here it is more important to have a good time. You’ve got to make the most of the season before it is all over for another year. You are either planning to work your butt off and earn your money for the year, or trying to decide what will allow you to have the most fun!
I don’t really want to spend the whole summer just temping in an office, so I need to find something that will get me out and about. I would like to get my beach lifeguard qualification but I really need to work on my swimming first.
During the weeks and months that I haven’t been posting here, I have been working on my other website, www.gubernatrix.co.uk, which is growing slowly but surely. Sometimes it is frustrating that I don’t seem to have enough time to do my wage-earning job, work on both websites, train and put my ideas into practice for the future. But then I remember that at least I am in the right place. It would be even more frustrating if I was still stuck in the city and part of that daily grind. Here, at least I can still escape to the beach or hang out with like-minded people! It gives you hope.
Stumble it!
Best advice of 2007
Posted on January 9, 2008
Filed Under Ideas & Philosophy, Personal Finance, Self Improvement, Tips | 2 Comments
Whether you make New Year’s resolutions or not, there can’t be many people out there who don’t use the start of a new year as an opportunity to start a new project, kick an old habit or re-evaluate their goals. I’ve trawled through Drop Out Diaries and picked out the best tips since my adventure began. Some of them are things I’ve read or heard about from other people, and some of them I’ve learnt through experience.
Pay yourself first
A great way to save money. Make sure that the first thing you do when your paycheck comes in is put some money into your savings, before you pay the bills. More…
| See also: | Pay Yourself First from About.com |
Let go of your stuff
How many of us can honestly say that every purchase is something we really want and value? Start cultivating a “high joy-to-stuff ratio”. More…
If you want a “high joy-to-stuff ratio”, it’s a good idea to get rid of the stuff that doesn’t bring you joy! Let go of your bad habits as well. More…
| See also: | 15 Great Decluttering Tips from Zen Habits |
| Unclutterer.com - an entire site about decluttering | |
| 3 ways to get over possession addiction |
Getting things done
If you need to get things done around the house, try turning the electricity off. With no TV, computer, phone or Wii to lure you away, you’ll be able to get through your ‘to do’ list in no time. More…
| See also: | Video seminar on Getting Things Done from David Allen |
| A quick guide to Getting Things Done from Zen Habits |
Be proud of the decisions you’ve made
Even if society’s notions of “success” don’t chime with yours. If you are clearly happy and fulfilled, people will want to know your secret, not what kind of car you drive. More…
If your life’s mission isn’t your job, consider a low-flying career that gives you more time to enjoy yourself and get on with your own projects. More…
| See also: | How to drop out by Ran Prieur |
| The Joys of Janitorhood from John Anderson |
Say yes instead of no
A simple way to get more out of life. Saying yes and accepting what ensues is a great way to overcome fears (e.g. of social situations) and open yourself up to new opportunities. More…
| See also: | The power of yes: a simple way to get more out of life from Get Rich Slowly |
Change your life
It is easier than you think to make profound changes to your life and get closer to where you want to be. These three lessons are all that has helped me to change mine. More…
| See also: | 10 reasons you should never get a job from Steve Pavlina |
Get fit and strong
If strength training isn’t a part of your life yet, you are missing out on greatly improved well-being and functional ability. You might be saving for your retirement but are you also making sure you’ll be fit and strong enough really to enjoy it? More…
Follow your heart and be brave
Be inspired by these interviews with people who have left the rat race behind. None of them had any advantages that you don’t have, they just went for it! More…
Stumble it!
How to afford what you really want
Posted on December 22, 2007
Filed Under Personal Finance, Tips | 2 Comments
“I can’t afford it.”
I said this to someone earlier today, but realised that this is a very money-centric way of looking at the world. What I really meant was: I’m not sure that this item will bring enough value to me for that price, if at all.
Saying “I can’t afford it” implies that if you had more money you would buy it. Whereas, in fact even if you had ten times the money it still might not be worth purchasing because fundamentally it’s not valuable enough to you. No matter how rich or poor you are, spending money on something you never use is a complete waste.
If you are convinced of an item’s value and you can see yourself happily using it for years to come and getting a lot out of it, then you can probably afford it even if you have to spend some time saving up for it. It’ll be even easier to afford if you stop buying things that aren’t genuinely valuable to you!
I know people whose regular monthly income is relatively low but who have been able to afford things like a motorbike, a round-the-world trip, a house. These things were not a passing fancy. For many they represent months or years of paid employment or years of saving. But if you really want something and you are willing to be hard-working and creative in the way that you go about it, there is very little on this earth of real value that you could not afford.
The other side of the coin is that if you are not convinced of an item’s value in this way, then you can’t really afford the item even if it only costs a pound. You waste energy buying it, the thing takes up space in your life and eventually you’ll waste energy getting rid of it.
See also Tips to curb impulse buying
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True signs of success
Posted on December 18, 2007
Filed Under Emotions, Self Improvement | 5 Comments
In this life, there is a lot of pressure to show socially-acceptable signs of success: high income, high powered job, big house and car, being constantly in demand, always on the phone and so on.
If your life doesn’t look like that, it is easy to be a bit defensive about it in a social situation. You might find yourself coming out with expressions of justification, such as:
“It hasn’t always been like this, you know…
I used to have a high-powered job…
This is just a temporary situation…
I’ve got a plan to earn loads of money in the future…”
While all of these things may be perfectly true, it would great to be proud of who you are now and where you are heading. But such is the social conditioning that it can take a long time to shed conventional notions of success. It can be particularly difficult at social events, where people you’ve just met are asking, “So what do you do?”
I was at a social event the other day and found myself using one of these justifications. Someone made a remark about a mutual acquaintance being much more high-powered than me, and I instantly bristled and was somewhat affronted. Afterwards though, I felt like an idiot because deep down I don’t really mind if my life doesn’t conform to other people’s metrics of success. But I had still felt the twinge of inferiority as the social conditioning kicked in.
In order to bring out this apparent dichotomy, I made a list of all the aspects of my life that are seen as social negatives, and a list of all the aspects that I see as positive. Here’s what they looked like:
Social negatives - “unsuccessful”
- Low income
- On housing benefit
- Low-powered employment, usually temporary
- Live in rural area
- Don’t own house or car
- Not in demand, no-one needs me
- Don’t have latest clothes, gadgets etc
- No pension or health insurance
My positives - “successful”
- No debt
- No dependants
- Little stress
- Loads of energy and ambition
- Live in a relaxing, beautiful environment
- Fit and healthy
- Plenty of time to work on my own projects
- Have everything I need
- Take time off whenever I want
Those lists are quite revealing. It’s not simply that they show that a low-powered life can be a positive life, but – more importantly - they also show that I have actively made choices to live a certain way. I am not on benefits or doing temporary work because there is no alternative. I’ve chosen these things because they are part of a plan and contribute to making me happy.
Not everyone would make the same choices, of course. Some people really do want to earn loads of money and have a high-powered job. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The challenge for high-powered people is to become genuinely worthwhile, happy and fulfilled. I am sure we have all encountered managers, directors and other executives who have all the trappings of power but are either a waste of space where the job is concerned or are high achievers at the expense of their health, families, sanity!
But perhaps we also know people who are not only enjoying the trappings of power, but are actually using their power to do good things, are working to achieve something they really believe in. Perhaps they have given up a bit of money and prestige to spend more time with their kids or are using their high-powered positions to help a good cause. I have met a handful of people like this and it seems like a very good way to live your life.
One of the lessons of the excellent book Your Money or Your Life
So how will I try to deal with this awkward social situation in the future? By not minding what people think and just being honest. If you are truly happy, fulfilled and positive about your life, this will naturally come across in the way you talk about it.
Have you encountered this issue? How do you deal with it?
See also Advantages of a low-flying career
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Christmas offer on magazine subscriptions
Posted on December 13, 2007
Filed Under Tips | Leave a Comment
Stumped for Christmas present ideas? Consider a magazine subscription. They bring pleasure all year round and you can pretty much find a magazine out there for anyone. The Magazine Group has got some good Christmas offers on at the moment, with savings of up to 90% on popular titles. Choose from Vogue, New Scientist, Stuff, GQ, Esquire, Good Food and many more.
And here’s another tip: make magazines go further by sharing them with friends or donating them to your local doctor’s surgery.
This post is sponsored by The Magazine Group.
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Tips to curb impulse buying
Posted on December 11, 2007
Filed Under Self Improvement, Tips | 1 Comment
Photo credit: Clarita on Morguefile
I am in London for the Christmas season, seeing family and friends, and I am amazed at how geared this entire city is towards spending money. I didn’t realise it when I lived here. You can hardly step out of the house without encountering cues to spend - shops, cafes, street vendors, advertising, what other people are wearing or carrying or driving. Because it’s Christmas, there are even more pretty things in the shops. But these days I try to apply more criteria than simply “I like it!” to a decision to buy. It makes me sound like a killjoy but actually it is quite fun. You get to enjoy the idea of something for a while, but you don’t have to spend any actual money on it.
So here are a few tips to curb the impulse to spend, spend, spend!
- Consider how your life would be different if you bought this item. Would you get real benefit and value from it that no other possession of yours could give?
- Try walking out of the shop and see if you still want the item as much.
- Even better, give yourself a 24-hour cooling off period. Don’t buy it immediately but see if you still want it the next day.
- Is there something you already have that could be converted for a different purpose? For example, I sometimes wear a ‘work suit’ jacket with jeans for a smart-casual look, which means I don’t have to buy yet another jacket.
- Do you know someone who has one already? Maybe they could lend it to you (e.g. a DIY tool).
- Shop around - you might find a better and cheaper one elsewhere. Have a look on ebay too.
- Examine your reasons for making the purchase. Are you trying to cheer yourself up? Are you trying to ‘keep up with the Joneses’ or impress your friends? The chances are that buying something won’t fix the underlying problem making you unhappy, and most people won’t think you’re cool just because you have an iphone.
The problem with instant gratification is that the effects wear off very quickly. It’s possible to enjoy the sensation of not spending money too. You have more in your wallet to spend on the things you really care about and you are not cluttering up your life with useless junk or passing fancies.
Got any other good tips to curb impulse spending?
Stumble it!
Advantages of a “low-flying” career
Posted on December 10, 2007
Filed Under Self Improvement, Tips | 5 Comments
Having a low-flying job can be surprisingly rewarding. It’s difficult to have a high-flying career without working long hours (unpaid), being stressed and tired, getting frustrated with office politics and having work invade your non-working time as well. Yes, you are financially rewarded but when do you have time to enjoy it? Does a three-day city break make up for six months of work-induced stress?
A low-flying job is one where you work considerably below your abilities or qualifications in a job with little responsibility and career prospects. Why would people do this? Well, if you can cope with the reduced income, a low-flying job has a number of advantages over a high-flying one:
- No-one expects you to do extra time unpaid. Start at 9, finish at 5, take your full hour for lunch.
- You don’t arrive home tired and stressed so there’s no need to spend hours winding down from work or waste money on a takeaway because you’re too tired to cook.
- You are not as intellectually or emotionally involved in the work you do, so you don’t find yourself thinking about work at all outside the hours you are contracted to perform it.
- The work is well within your capabilities so you don’t have to worry about your own performance.
- You don’t go to bed on Sunday night worrying about what faces you on Monday morning.
- You don’t get involved in office politics.
- You have plenty of mental space that you can devote entirely to yourself and your own projects or interests.
- You keep a healthy distance between your work and the rest of your life. Neither impinges on the other.
I’ve enjoyed doing low-flying work more than I thought. I was worried about getting bored at work but this didn’t happen to the extent that I anticipated. Instead, I found I had the space in my head to think about things that were important to me. I could make mental shopping lists, write mental blog posts, plan my little plans!
All of that thinking time translates into being more in control of your life. For instance, have you ever been so busy at work that you don’t have time to consider what to have for dinner or even remember what’s in your fridge? So you end up getting an unhealthy takeaway or grabbing the first thing off the supermarket shelves on the way home.
To some people, it might seem like a waste of your abilities to take a deliberately low-flying job. But how many of us have jobs that really tax our brains or challenge us consistently to come up with new ideas? And in any case, unless you own the business, all your efforts and exciting new ideas are simply contributing to making someone else’s business a success.
Those in low-flying jobs often have a very absorbing hobby or sideline that gets the bulk of their mental capacity. For example, I have my blogs, to which I devote an enormous amount of intellectual energy. Isn’t it more rewarding to devote the bulk of your mental capacity to your own projects rather than someone else’s?
Has anyone else deliberately taken a “low-flying” job? How have you got on? Is it a long-term solution or only good as a stop gap?
Stumble it!
Free blogger business cards from ooprint.co.uk
Posted on December 7, 2007
Filed Under Tips | Leave a Comment
I’ve been thinking about how to promote my blogs to friends, acquaintances and random people offline. It’s easy to start talking about your blog, but how do you make sure people remember the address and take the time to log on and have a look?
I started looking into getting business cards printed, but then I came across a service called www.ooprint.co.uk which actually offers business cards specifically tailored to blog owners. What’s more, at the moment they are doing a special offer of 100 FREE blogger cards! You only pay shipping fees.
What’s neat about these blogger cards from www.ooprint.co.uk is that you can have your tag cloud on the card, as well as logo, URL and your contact details. So you can really get the message across about your blog.
I found www.ooprint.co.uk really easy to use: you just click on the design you want and fill in the information you want to display on the card. You get an instant preview of how the card is going to look, so it’s easy to play around and change things to get it exactly right.
ooprint’s blogger business cards are a great idea and have certainly solved a problem for me at just the right time!
This post is sponsored by ooprint.co.uk
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Want to get things done? Turn the power off!
Posted on December 5, 2007
Filed Under Tips | 5 Comments
It’ s been very stormy here in Cornwall and the other day we had a power cut in the local area. In the middle of Saturday morning the electricity went off. I called the power company on my mobile and they said it would take about three hours to fix.
What was I going to do for three hours at home on a Saturday? When the power went out, I had been browsing the web and looking forward to making a cup of tea and watching sport on TV. Now all those plans had gone out with the power!
But then I realised that actually there was plenty I could do that didn’t require any electric power at all. I could clean the bathroom (it needed doing!), file my post, tidy up the flat, go for a run or finish the book that’s been sitting half-read on my bedside table.
I ended up having the most productive three hours of my weekend and also realised how profligate we can be with our power. So the next time you need to get things done, try banning the use of electricity for an hour or two. Better yet, to prevent cheating, turn your electricity off altogether! You’ll get your chores done and save some money into the bargin.
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Interview #4: Caroline
Posted on December 2, 2007
Filed Under Interviews | Leave a Comment
This is the fourth in a series of interviews with people who have successfully ‘dropped out’ of the rat race.
Name: Caroline
Age: 30
Caroline met the love of her life while on holiday in Turkey and left behind her life in London to live with him in a small Turkish town.
Caroline is now a full-time mum and housewife and continues to adapt to the very different culture she is now living in.
Where do you live now and what do you do?
I live in a small town in South West Turkey called Nazilli, and I am a full-time mum and housewife.
Where did you live before you left the rat race and what did you do?
I used to live in London and I worked in an office as an administrator.
What made you decide to drop out of the rat race?
I never had any big career plans, I guess I was waiting to meet the right man to settle down and have a family with. However I didn’t expect to move to another country to do this.
I met my husband while I was on holiday with my mum. We didn’t have a holiday romance as such - our relationship started when I got back home and Yusuf (my husband) started sending me text messages. He didn’t speak much English and I didn’t speak Turkish, but love was our inspiration and we taught each other! We had a long-distance relationship for a year but it came to make or break. He hadn’t been able to get a visa to come to England so we had to decide if we were to make a go of it, it had to be Turkey. So I packed up and left.
How did you get started?
During the time our relationship had been going on, I had changed departments at work and was actually getting on well in my job, learning web administration and getting trained up to do IT support. It would have been diificult to give that up if it had been something I’d planned, but I already knew when I took the new post that it might not be for long. I guess I must have fallen in love when I first met Yusuf, even though part of me didn’t want to believe it, because as soon as I was back home in familiar surroundings, I knew I was ready to give all that up for the big L.
Once I made the decision to move to Turkey, I handed in my notice, gave myself two weeks after finishing work to pack up my belongings and get rid of what I couldn’t take with me. Luckily, I had a home to go to as I was moving in with Yusuf. And I had been going to evening classes to learn Turkish.
When I arrived I was in at the deep end - everybody knew who I was but with all the family and neighbours and casual acquaintances we met as Yusuf whizzed me about town, not to mention unfamiliar-sounding names, it was a whirlwind induction to a new life and lifestyle.
How is your life different now?
Strangely enough, the biggest change has been becoming a mum. It changes your whole perspective on life. I got pregnant within three months of getting married, which was a bit soon but it gave me something to look forward to as I was gettng used to my new life.
As well as learning a new language, I was getting used to a different culture. My life is more family-oriented now. It’s also more basic in many ways. Our hot running water is solar powered. In winter we use a stove for heating. We often eat Turkish style seated on the floor with a low table consisting of a tray set on a stand. Our diet is generally very healthy - lots of fresh locally grown vegetables. I shop at the weekly market held two streets away. We do also use the supermarkets, but its fun to go to the market.
Friends and neighbours call round often - visitig is a big part of the culture. That took a lot of getting used to - and it means its more important to keep your home tidy as you never know when someone might pop in!
As any new mum will tell you, I don’t seem to get a lot of time to myself! But I get a lot of help looking after baby, and a lot of advice, which I take with a pinch of salt. There are many superstitions and strange customs, but if I can understand why something may be advantageous, I usually go with the flow.
My life has changed so much its difficult to ennumerate. My main purpose is to keep my husband and son happy and well-fed, and they provide me with love and amusement. When our son has grown up a bit I may look for a job, or perhaps teach English. Being a foreigner makes me instantly exotic and interesting, although I can pass for a Turk until converstaion gets beyond the pleasantries!
The best change for me is that I give thanks every day now for what I have, even on the tough days when nothing seems to go right, we have a home and food on the table, and we are lucky to be living this wonderful life.
What have been the highs and lows so far?
The first few months were a whirlwind of delights - everything was new and full of possibility. We were young lovers just starting out. Our wedding was another highlight, as some of my family came for our Turkish-style wedding (a few months after our civil ceremony).
The birth of our son, naturally a highlight! The lows came afterwards: sleepness nights and stress and constant feeding and changing of nappies!
The toughest thing is that standard jobs in our town are really demanding. Long hours and long weeks. Sometimes my husband was working from 8am to 10pm at night - Saturdays too. The normal working week is something like 60 hours. The stress from work has made our lives miserable at times.
Would you have done anything differently?
Catch me in a bad moment and I would say I should have been more assertive and been more English at times. But actually, as we are living here I can’t enforce my culture on a whole country! And also I have to be myself. I don’t like too much conflict so I always try to be flexible. Maybe I’ve been assimilated more than I expected, but right now I am happy with my life so I guess the only thing I would do differently if I could would be to worry less and be less stressed generally, as it has all worked out ok so far!
Do you have a philosophy or a mode you like to live by?
A positive outook is the best mode to operate in. I am an eternal optimist, and my husband too is a different kind of optimist. The kind that doesn’t make plans! Many people here tell me that if I am smiling, it is enough for them. This is their kindness and hospitality - to forgive any social gaffes I may make, if they have been able to make me happy and comfortable.
So I always try to look on the bright side - we are thankful for the small things in life and we do fine without the luxuries if our basic needs are met. The most important thing for us is love, and as long as we remember that, we can be happy. The power of love is very apparent in our lives, as we are both aware we have changed our lives for love.
What advice would you give to someone wanting to do the same thing?
Don’t forget what made you want to do it in the first place!
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Find out how to leave the rat race and get the life you want. Read my story and others, learn from our mistakes and be inspired by our successes!