How to change your life - three lessons

Posted on November 4, 2007
Filed Under Self Improvement |

It is easy to know when you are unhappy with your life or want to make a change. It is more difficult to know what to do and how to go about it. I’ve made a few big changes in my life. I have changed from one career to another, given up a career entirely, and moved from the city to the country. I have also tried to live differently, change my outlook on life, even change some aspects of my personality. I feel that I am getting closer and closer to the kind of person I want to be.

I am often asked how I go about these changes. Although it is tempting to write a ‘ten steps to change your life’ piece, that’s not how I went about it. I didn’t follow ten steps, I just knew deep down what was important and tried to remind myself of these principles when things weren’t going so well.

So here’s the essence of what I have learnt along the way.

Be true to yourself

This is my most important tip. After all, this is presumably why you are making the change in the first place. So if your change is right for you at this moment, go for it.

A lot of my problems in the past came because I was battling something that wasn’t right for me, because it was what I thought I should be doing. But we are not all cut out for the same role and we don’t all have to take the same path in life.

Often people don’t do themselves justice, in small ways as well as big ways. I know many people who find themselves getting annoyed and irritable when out and about in the city, and end up behaving in a way that really isn’t them. They feel bad for pushing past people or answering rudely but can’t seem to stop doing it.

Being true to yourself also means gently ignoring those who try to pour cold water on your plan. Often they are people close to you - but they are either jealous or simply don’t understand. If your plans involve moving away from someone close to you, recognise that they might see this as a negative change from their point of view!

Don’t worry about money

Yes, really! Of course money has its importance and you need some of it to get by. But worrying about it can really hold you back and take over your life. If you are trying to make money in a different way (e.g. by setting up your own business) or attain financial freedom, it could take a while and some trial and error before you find something that works.

So, keep good track of your spending and if things get tight, be resourceful. Do some odd jobs, have a garage sale, reduce your outgoings. Delay your change if need be. But don’t compromise your overall aim.

It is simply not true that we need ever more money in order to be happier and more comfortable. Have you ever noticed that people with lots of money just spend it on gadgets, clothes or bigger versions of what they already have? Considering the amount of effort and stress they go through to acquire that money in the first place, it seems a poor return to me!

Be confident and pro-active

It sounds obvious, but you really can’t just sit there and wait for something to change – you have to make it happen. Sometimes it seems as if there is a mountain to climb, but if you do one small thing, that leads to another and all of a sudden you have some momentum and you can see the way forward.

It’s also worth remembering that we all have bad moments. Don’t panic or think that you have failed if you have a setback. I have had many crises of confidence at various points along the way but they never lasted for very long. Often it was a conversation with someone I trusted that got me going again.

Confidence is also a tricky thing to pin down. It is partly self-belief and partly the ‘fake it till you make it’ approach. You need to believe deep down that you are capable of what you are undertaking, even if on the surface things don’t always go to plan. It is also true that if you exude confidence about your plans, other people will have confidence in them as well, and that in turn gives you more confidence.

So these are the three principles that I believe are key to making a successful change in your life. I won’t pretend that I embody these principles 24/7, but I always find my way back to them.

It is an amazing experience to follow a path that seems right for you. Your mind just seems to take off and you become more relaxed and creative in the way you live and deal with the things life throws at you.

Stumble it!

Comments

2 Responses to “How to change your life - three lessons”

  1. Piotr on January 15th, 2008 4:14 pm

    Inspirational :) You are so right in so many ways.. I am getting more and more confidence to follow “my plan”, especially as every step I take in the direction I want to go in gives me so much.. in particular it gives me the confidence to take another step, so the journey just gets easier and more fulfilling.

    Good luck with life! I will be checking this blog for more revelations!

  2. sally on January 20th, 2008 5:28 pm

    Thank you and good luck with your journey!

    I have been a bit slack in updating this blog recently due to concentrating on another project, but I am back to it now!

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